Thursday, June 25, 2015

The Co-Parenting Diaries: Crazy Train

I swear.

If you were to ask my ex-husband, he would tell you that I'm crazy.

Certifiably, why-have-they-not-committed-me-yet, crazy.

And in his defense, sometimes I am.

Yep. It's true.

This divorcee-who sometimes feels like I have at least 10,000 reasons as to why I am divorced from my ex-husband-isn't perfect and yes, even I have my moments.

I know! Shocking, right?!

I mean just the other day, while we were having an argument that was pretty much the direct result of me blowing something completely out of proportion, I completely lost it.

Another shocker, I know. 

And in the middle of that heated screaming match conversation, I told my ex-husband I was going to kill him.


That happened.

Those words actually left my mouth.

Dear God, please help us. 

I, of course, didn't mean it and I could tell by his laughter-which was only adding fuel to the fire-that he also knew I didn't mean it.

But seriously, if he turns up dead in the next month or so, I'm gonna have some serious explaining to do.

So, let it be known that if that happens, I didn't do it.

I mean, I probably didn't do it. 

Just kidding.

I promise.

I digress.

Anyway, it's clear that we obviously still have our moments.

Despite our commitment to successful co-parenting and the HUGE strides we have made in that general direction, I would be straight up lying if I told you we had perfected it.

He is still the best person at pushing my buttons, and I am still the best person at completely over reacting about some of the stupidest crap.

I swear, we all turn into our mothers eventually. 

Trust me, when I encourage other divorced parents to "pick their battles", it's with full knowledge that I am not always the best at doing this.

And if we're telling the truth, the commitment to successful co-parenting is just straight up hard some days.

It's hard to find common ground with the one person you have so little in common with anymore.

It's hard to communicate with the last person on earth you really want to talk to today.

And it's hard to know sometimes where the line of respecting the other parent and allowing them to help you make parenting decisions ends and where the line of being able to make your own parenting decisions without them begins.

It's just hard.

Like super hard. 

But, thank God for wine and co-workers who overlook the scene you just made in the middle of work and let you take a break to cry it out.

Because tomorrow is a new day.

We may not always get it right, but the point is that we are trying.

Every. single. day.

And at the end of each day, no matter how mad he makes me or how crazy I act towards him, our daughter still knows how much she is loved and wanted by both parents

We're all just doing our best over here.

Most of the time.

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