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Wednesday, March 4, 2015

New Beginnings


"She could never go back and make some of the details pretty.
All she could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful."
~Terri St. Cloud

I learned a long time ago that struggle makes people uncomfortable. 

That it is best to bite your tongue and stay quiet, because too many people are offended by hurt, and sadness, and mourning. They gasp and whisper about any imperfect detail of our real life that makes our fake social media life look less than perfect. They point fingers and call us out when the life they see through their computer, phone, or smart pad screen begins to hum with a little too much raw truth. They push and fight with passive aggressive social media posts and even text messages that remind us when we've crossed the line that is so clearly drawn in the sand. The line that shows us what is socially acceptable to share and what must be kept below the surface where no one wants to see it. 

Well, let me be the first to tell you again as I have a thousand times, I am not perfect

My life is the very definition of a beautiful mess. 

A true beauty from ashes story. 

And I plan to keep telling it. 

The whole story.

Every single gory, messy, brilliant, and shiny detail whether the world approves of it or not. 

Because my self-made ideal of what my life was supposed to look like was a catastrophic failure. My "perfect plan" for how my journey through motherhood was supposed to go was definitely interrupted by mistakes and heartache that have caused me to let go of everything I wanted and cling to everything HE wanted. And the truth is-that despite the mess-His plans have turned out to be so much better, because the picture He's painting is actually far more beautiful than I ever could have imagined. 

And that's why I strive to tell my truth.

All of it. 

Because the story He wants to tell you through me just isn't as brilliant without it. 

*****

As you can see things are changing around here. 

My new space is a reflection of the woman I've become from the girl I used to know and this blog will continue to be dedicated to the truth of telling you how I have had to fight every single day to become her. 

This blog will continue to not shy away from hard topics like divorce and co-parenting, but it has also been inspired by my new volunteer efforts with a local shelter for abused women. I want to use this blog as a platform where I plan to combat one of the most harmful epidemics that plagues our world today: domestic violence. 

I want this blog to be a beacon of hope for any woman who might read these words and need to know that they are not alone. That just like me they too can be a survivor and I am here to show them how they can do that. 

So, I want to welcome you to my new space. 

A space that isn't going to shy away from the truth no matter how uncomfortable the world has programmed us to think it is. 

A space that is going to take a proactive approach towards changing the conversation and making a difference. 

A space that is befitting of a new chapter. 

And I can't wait to write it.

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