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Friday, January 16, 2015

An Unraveling


"As close as we'd been when we were together,
we were closer in our unraveling, 
telling each other everything at last, 
words that seemed to us might never have been 
spoken between two human beings before,
so deep we went,
saying everything that was
beautiful and ugly and true."
~ Cheryl Strayed, Wild

I'm proud of us sometimes. 

Really proud. 

The way we land comfortably in each other presence. 

The way we find our way back to the old friends we once were. 

The way you get me unlike anyone else. 

These are the moments when I feel like we are truly going to be okay. 

That I am going to be okay. 

That we are somehow going to find our way through this awkward, hard place and emerge somewhere in the middle of what was and what is to come.

I struggle sometimes with what is best for her.

How can we be better?

Stronger?

More sure of ourselves?

And then we have these fleeting moments of assurance that cause me to wonder how we could be anymore sure of ourselves than we already are?

It's like our unraveling has brought us closer.

To this place where we know we must fight-not against each other, but for each other.

For her.

For the common good.

And, I know.

I know that I sometimes get caught up in the waves-the ebb and flow. One minute my feet are planted solidly on the shore where we are of one mind-one purpose.

And in the very next moment, I feel myself being drug back out to the sea-pulled beneath the dark waters of grief and regret.

Those are the moments when you always seem to come in for a landing.

You pull me back to shore and remind me what this is truly about.

And you remind me with your presence, that eventually the waves will calm.

That someday soon I will see more of the shore than I do the dark waters.

But for now, I am thankful for every moment on the shore-for this common ground where we find ourselves sitting peacefully. Our eyes cast out to the sea wondering how long our "normal" will last this time.

 I will revel in this moment.

I will find a way to stay here as long as I can.

I promise, old friend.

I promise. 

1 comment:

  1. I Love. Love. Love this one. Love you Ashley Lynn. ❤️MSH

    ReplyDelete

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