Friday, May 2, 2014

Grace Unending

"Amazing grace,
how sweet the sound,
that saved a wretch like me. 
I once was lost, but now I'm found.
T'was blind, but now I see..."
~John Newton


My life raft for the last 8 months and 10 days.

It has not only kept me afloat, but at times, it has reminded how to breathe. It begged me to forgive myself even when the rest of the world refused to. It wiped my slate clean. It mended my wounds. It reminded me of my worth during all of those nights when I cried until there were no tears left while whispering softly, "Sweet baby girl, I promise that all of this will be worth it". That those tears were necessary to understand the journey and where it was taking me. 

And to be honest, I never believed it.

Until now.

If you would of asked me 8 months ago if my life would lead me to the place I am now, I would of argued with you. I would of sworn to you that my life was over. That the grave I had dug for myself was deep and wide, and that there was no way out. I would of lead you to the place on my bedroom floor. The place that held me all those nights in the beginning. The place I swear is still stained with all the tears I cried for myself, for my child, for my broken heart, and for all of those promises that had just seemed to vaporize into nothing. I would of told you that I was finished-that I didn't have the courage to take another step.

But, Grace carried me.

And before long minutes turned into hours. Hours turned into days. Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. And here I stand just a few months shy of a year: alive, breathing, redeemed, and the happiest I have been in a long time.

That's what happens when you choose to listen to what Grace says about you, instead of what the world says about you. That's what happens when you choose to fight, when you choose to finally be honest, and when you choose to let Him use you.

Because instead of leaving you in your grave like the rest of the world, Grace gives you a second chance. A third chance. A thirtieth chance.

Grace unending.
Grace is no longer just my life raft. It's my calling. The call to extend Grace to those of us in this world who need it the most: the single moms, the divorcees, the liars, the cheaters, the drug addicts, the gamblers, the broken, the lost, and the ones who are at the end of their rope. The ones who have heard over and over again that they aren't good enough and that they will never be good enough. The ones who have been abandoned by the church. His church.

The ones who need the grace that He is so desperately trying to offer them, but He can't seem to find a soul to deliver it to them.

Well, here I am, Lord.

I am finally ready.

He has proven his faithfulness to me over and over and over again. He has shown me that a life that is redeemed by Grace is a life that is far from over. It is a life that still has purpose and meaning.

No mess. No message.


Today, I am thankful for Grace.

I am thankful for hope.

I am thankful for new beginnings and bright futures.

I am thankful that all of those tears...every single one...were worth it.

Man, were they worth it.

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