Sunday, October 13, 2013
There are big moments in motherhood that fill your heart up to the point of bursting: her first steps, the first time she said, "I love you", her birthdays, her first day of preschool, etc. Big moments. Moments that make you proud. Moments that make you want to stand up and say, "Hey, that's my kid!". Moments that remind you that you are the driving force behind each one of those moments-the wind in her sails moving her from one big step to the next. They are important moments. Monumental moments.
But, there are also moments that come in the chaos of everyday life-little, fleeting moments that fill your heart up just as much: a chattering little voice from the backseat telling a BIG story, a made-up song being sung to herself when she thinks you're not listening, a little body coloring a picture and asking you question after question while your cooking dinner, a surprise kiss, a tight hug, or an out-of-the-blue, "I love you, Mommy". Every day moments that to an outsider don't seem like anything special, but to a mom they are tiny gold medals that remind you every day that you're doing a good job. They are moments of pure grace when you need them the most. They are the wind that fills your sails and the compass that directs your path. They are God's way of coaching us through the hardest, but most rewarding job we will ever accomplish.
Today my day was full of these moments. Precious, sweet, innocent moments that came as an answer to my 5:00 AM prayer for grace. And if I have doubted at all in the last (almost) two months that He's not listening, today He reminded me that He is. That He hears every cry for grace, every whisper for strength, and every single call for wisdom. He hears them and He responds with a day full moments like these. Moments that affirm to my very fragile, but still beating heart that I am finally getting back on the right path, that despite everything I AM a good mother, and that right now being her everything is more than enough-it will always be enough.
Yep, we're going to be just fine-my girl and I. And you know what?!
For the first time today, I actually believed it.