
With that said, for those of you who don't know, but honestly want to know. I appreciate you respecting Emma and I's privacy, and giving me time to come up with the words I need to say-I want to say-on my own. This situation isn't a "one-blog-post" kinda thing. It's going to take time for me to craft the words exactly how I want to say them without saying too much, or sharing too little. And who knows, I may never come up with those words. I'm sure over time you'll pick up on what's going on, but I can't promise you that you will know why. Sometimes I think even I will never know why. But, please know that I appreciate each and every one of my readers. I love that you let me share a corner of my heart with you, and I love having something that I can hopefully go back and show Emma. So, for now, please know that I covet your good thoughts and prayers. Knowing there are people out there who love me and support me unconditionally is the only thing that gets me out of bed some days.

Emma successfully graduated from her K3 program in May. She learned SO much in Ms. Becki's class and I am so thankful to have the education she received at school to supplement what she was learning at home. Emma actually won the "Christian Character Award" for her K3 & K4 class. We were so proud of her and she was beaming when she walked up on that stage to accept her award. It's moments like those, especially with the changes that have occurred in our family over the last few months, that helped me take a step back and realize that I am a good mom. I'm certainly not perfect and I make mistakes, but despite everything, I am not permanently scarring my child. She is well behaved for others and compassionate, and just a good kid...a really good kid and I'm proud to call her mine.

We do a lot of swimming on my days off, and I'm lucky enough to live a few apartments down from my sister, so I get to keep my nephew one day a week. Even though both of them together can be trying at times, I love being able to get the kids together, especially since my sister and I don't usually have the kids on the same day. Emma loves her cousin Noah, and I am so thankful for their fast friendship. I am also thankful for my cousin, Mya. She's only 8, but she has been the biggest help! She always plays so well with Emma, and I joke and tell my mom I should just pay Mya to babysit! :) Emma and Mya have a very special bond and I am thankful that she is the sister Emma has never had.
Needless to say, we stay busy. We have too. I'd be a mess if we just laid around anyway. However, nothing beats those times when it's just here and I at home. I love curling up with her to watch a movie or read a book. I love those moments when I get to remind her that she is the reason for every breath I take. I am so blessed that God gave her to me, and I want her to always know how special and loved she is. She is my sunshine-my heart. And at the end of the day, no matter what, she is all that matters to me. As long as I'm doing the best I can for her, and being the best I can for her, then I'm doing my job. Period. Everything else doesn't matter.
You are an AWESOME mama, anyone can see that! Stay strong!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lucy :)
DeleteI've been hoping things are okay for you. So glad you have your daughter- I know exactly how much strength they can give us during rough stuff.
ReplyDeleteTruly. We are ok-or something that resembles ok ;) Excited to see pictures of you're new little one :)
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